Friends

     Why do I feel like my friends draw away from me more than they are ever really near me? Is it just my imagination or am I just not that great to be around? I really don't know. Most times I feel like my group of friends likes to talk within them selves and leave me out of everything unless I ask or it is important for me to know.They are always texting each other but I am never in those conversations and just feel like nobody ever wants to talk to me. Most of the time I feel like a bumbling idiot and never say anything right and that all I am doing is putting my foot in my mouth. Sometimes I feel like I'm just there because they take pity on me. I can't tell you why I feel this I can't even really tell myself. All I know is that sometimes I feel like I have friends. The ones where I can tell everything to and not feel like they are judging by the way I feel or by the way I may react to a situation.
      I just really don't know, maybe it is just the stress and this Thanksgiving break will just make all these doubts go away. Well venting felt very nice and who ever reads this thanks for listening(or reading...whatever). Have Happy Thanksgiving y'all.

Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and Family Gatherings

        This year is my first Thanksgiving that I have to stay home and not go with my family to celebrate. I am actually not made at all but I am sad because I don't get to see my mom side of the family whom I haven't seen in almost a year. This years everyone is gathering down in Ridgecrest, California because my Grandpa had a heart attack and stroke earlier this year. I wasn't able to go and see him then either because of job obligations(which I am not complaining about) but I am sadden by the fact that I still don't get to see him face to face probably until Christmas and maybe not even then.
       I am not able to see any of them because of Black Friday, while I am excited to work my first one ever I to miss Thanksgiving with my whole family. Luckily though my older sister also has to stay home because of her work so we are creating our own Thanksgiving. If I didn't have her on Thanksgiving I would be very sad and would be a little depressed. We are going to stay in a hotel tonight then we are going to have dinner on Thursday at a family friends house and then I will work on Friday then afterwards we will do some fun girl stuff then watch a new movie on Saturday. So I guess it's not all that bad.
       I will also get to see my family through Skype(got to love technology) and get to talk to them and see how they are all doing. This year Thanksgiving might be different, but it will be fun and exciting too.
                             Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful time with family!!!!

Messy Rooms

         Why must we clean our rooms? I ask my self this all the time when my room is a mess and my mom says I have to clean it. Why? Most of the time i find it much easier to keep it a mess. I know where everything is. It is exactly where I left it. Yet there are those moments where a clean room is useful. Yet why can't the room stay clean.
         Today that is my dilemma. I know I should clean my room (not just because my mom told me, even though its high on the list), But why does it have to be so difficult and BORING! I have always wanted to be organized but it just so time consuming and not fun so I just never do it. You have wash landurary that has been on the floor for weeks you have to hang up and fold that landarury and then put everything away in a neat and organized place. BORING!! I would rather be reading a book and hanging out with my friends then clean my room.
         But because I have no school today I have to do this gruling task and do it before I can do anything fun and exciting today, says mom. Well that is just a buzz kill because I probably won't and just clean my room before mom gets back from vacation. Or not because then its more work. Better get back to cleaning so I can go to dinner with my sister. Hopeful it will stay clean for longer this time.

Hamlet Analysis 5

Act V Analysis

            Is it better to die with your best friend or live and tell his tale to the world? That is the question that Horatio had to ask himself and Hamlet right before Hamlet died. Horatio is Hamlet’s best friend in the whole world and both would do anything for the other. So when Hamlet is dying Horatio wants to also but Hamlet doesn’t want him to.

            Shakespeare shows that the power of friendship can be stronger than death. With his word choice he is able to show throughout the play how close both Hamlet and Horatio are to each other but it is especially shown when Horatio said he would die with Hamlet. Though Hamlet talks Horatio out of it and to instead tell the world of his story, Shakespeare portrays Horatio as the amazing friend who carried out his friends dying wish.

            Horatio also makes sure that Hamlet is seen as the hero of it all in the end when Fortinbras shows up after he has finished his battle. This just shows how friendship can last even when the friends are no longer living. Shakespeare crafts every word to show that even though death has taken its toll friendship always lasts. Shakespeare also show how much Horatio is moved by Hamlets death and how he wishes him best in heaven and that he will have peace after all that he has suffered recently.

            Though many of us go through trails and bad times we have friends who can elp us survive the worst and help us move on. This is the kind of relationship Horatio and Hamlet had and with Shakespeare’s careful word choices we see just how much each of them cared for one another and how one would die if the other was going to die. Friendship has no bounds and Hamlet’s and Horatio’s relationship is a testament to that.

Hamlet Analyis Act 4

Act IV Analysis

            In Act IV scene IV Hamlet is angry with himself because he hasn’t taken action and killed King Claudius. He just talked to a Capitan about how Fortinbras is fighting over a land with Poland that really means nothing to either side, but they are both taking action to have it. This spurs Hamlet into a rage that makes him question himself on why he has still yet to take action and kill Claudius.

             Shakespeare uses this speech from Hamlet to show that action even for something that is means nothing is better and nobler than sitting around and doing nothing. Shakespeare’s uses Hamlet to allow the audience to see that people will die for a cause that has no meaning. Which then in turn make one ask the question “What would others do for a cause that means everything?” Not only does he bring a new meaning to the word action but he allows people to see that if you don’t take action as soon as possible one will sit wait and never find a good time to do what is right.

            As a result of Hamlets epiphany, he is spurned into action and finally extracts revenge on Claudius.  Actions speak louder than words. This is probably what Shakespeare was saying when he wrote this scene. It is true if all Hamlet or anyone ever did was speak and not act nothing would get done, no wars would be won no new things would be made and no accomplishments would be finished.

            Through this scene Shakespeare is saying “take the bull by the horns” because if you don’t you will end up doing nothing with your life. You have to accomplish something others wise you are never remembered and you will just be another leaf that falls into the pile by the tree, unrecognizable and one like many other people. So take action and see what you can accomplish in your life.

Hamlet Analyis Act 3

Act III Analysis

            In Act III of Shakespeare’s play Hamlet, King Claudius has a revelation about all the bad he has done and all the strife he has caused. In this seen Claudius is depicted as a man who wants to be forgiven for all of his transgressions and wants to find peace with God. Shakespeare shows how that even though you commit the most horrible of actions, one can still have remorse for it.

            In this scene Claudius is asking for forgiveness from God. He knows what he has done is horrible and now that he has all he wanted he is neglecting it because of the guilt he is feeling. Claudius doesn’t think he can be forgiven and is praying that he can. This is how Hamlet finds Claudius when he went to kill him. But Hamlet couldn’t do it, he couldn’t kill Claudius when he is being forgiven his sins that would mean Claudius would go to heaven not hell like he deserved.

            But Claudius is a very selfish man and always wants more. He doesn’t really care that he killed his brother, married his wife and took the kingdom. He wanted power and now he has it, so why give it up? With that being said Claudius retracts his prayers and decides to live as he has been.           

            Shakespeare creates meaning through these words by alluding to the fact that even though we as humans have good intentions we will always fall back on be habits. He shows through how Claudius acts towards him murdering his brother and how Hamlet once again loses his courage to kill Claudius. By  using the language Shakespeare did to write this scene he show habits die hard and that once you start them you will continue to repeat them. Shakespeare is trying to get the point across that we are always in an internal tug of war match and that we will die from this match because we can never win.

Guy troubles

Why does it always happen that when I start to like a guy and start to try to get close to him, he immediately starts to back away. That happened today. I like this guy in my youth group named TJ. He is a supper nice guy and is always into people and cares about them and I thought he was starting to like me. But today when I was going to give his a ride home he called his mother and got picked up by her. The worst part was I was going to basakwardly ask for his phone number today. 

Also he was supper distant from me all day when we hung out with the student servantship team today. I don't know maybe I'm just putting to much in to all of this and I should just stop and just get on with my life. Or should I go after it? I have no clue. 

Hopefully this will all work itself out by the next time I see him. I just am confused and hope that maybe he likes me to because I kind of want to ask him to Prom this year but I don't want him to say no or it to be awkward between us afterwards. Gosh. I guess I'll just have to leave in Gods hand and hope for the best. 

Oh my offence is rank

In English we have to come up with a speech to memorize out if the book Hamlet. I chose the saliliquy by King Claudius when his is begging for forgiveness for his horrible sin that he has committed. 

O, my offence is rank, it smells to heaven. It hath the primal eldest curs upon't, A brothers murder. Pray can I not, though inclination be as sharp as will; my stronger guilt deafeats my strong intent, and, like a man to double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin, and both neglect. What if this cursed hand were thicker than itself with brothers blood, is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens to wash it white as snow? Whereto serves mercy but I confront the visage of offence? And what's in prayer but this twofold force, to be forstalled ere we come to fall, or pardon'd being down? Then I'll look up. My fault is past. But O, what form of prayer can serve my turn? ' Forgive me my foul murder?' That cannot be, since I an still posses'd of those effects for which I did the murder-my crown, my own ambition and my queen. May one be pardon'd and retain the offence? In the corrupt currents of this world offence's gilded hand may shove by justice, and oft 'tis seen the wicked prize itself buys out the law. But 'tis not so above: there is no shuffling, there the action lies in his nature, and we ourselves compell'd even to teeth and forehead of our faults to give in evidence. What then? What rests? Try what repentance can. What can it not? Yet what can it when one can not repent? O wretched state, O bosom black as death, O lined soul, that struggling to be free atrocities more engaged! Help, angles! Make assay. Bow, stubborn knees,and, heart with strings of steel, be soft as sinews of the new-born babe. All may be well. 

This speech really resonates with me. I don no know exactly why but it mostly likly has to do with my faith and how I sometime I feel like this( well not to that extent anyways). But I do feel like sometimes my sins are so great that sometimes God can't forgive all I have done. In the end though I know he can so even though at the end of this speech King Claudius says it doesn't matter that nothing will change his heart I know tht God will forgive me. So when I proform this in front of the class I think I will be doing this like in actually trying to get my sins taken away. 

This won't just be an act it will be the real thing because it is something I struggle with all the time.